Possessed?

Guido Reni, The Archangel Michael Defeating Satan
St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle!

Day Three.

Today has been pretty tempting — and it corresponds exactly to having opened up my other computer. It’s a very odd thing, but I’ve only ever “gotten into trouble” (looked at porn or done anything else unseemly) on that computer — which, ironically enough, I named AGNES when I bought her years ago, praying I would never abuse her in the ways I abused my previous computer. Alas, as soon as my “old” computer became my “no longer functional” computer, AGNES became my vehicle for porn and other nastiness.

I suppose, naturally, it had to have a vehicle, and she was the only one I had at that time. But when I got my new-new computer, I segregated that part of my life only to AGNES. And the only times I’ve been able to resist temptation at all, lately, have been when AGNES was closed and put away. My files and things are currently strewn between the two computers, and I needed to boot up AGNES today to get some stuff. And immediately the temptation assailed me; nearly overcame me; and immediately upon closing her again just now, the temptation went away.

It’s often occurred to me that maybe AGNES is “possessed” or held by some dark energy that leads me into temptation by its nature. I’ve wondered — especially when I’ve made bold declarations about casting this mess off — if I should take her in to be blessed and exorcised by a priest, or at least anoint her with holy water myself here at home. In my right mind, I think that’s kind of silly; but I admit that I don’t know what goes on in the spiritual plane of things. Though I tend to be somewhat of a skeptic, more and more I’m realizing that there is a battle in the heavenlies for and around our souls; powers and principalities that we cannot see or understand. What if, through repeatedly opening such dark doors upon her and through her, I’ve given AGNES into the hands of those powers?

Anyway, I need to put her back in the bag and back in the closet.

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8 thoughts on “Possessed?”

  1. The temptation is not in “Agnes” it is in you. Maybe this will help you. You do know the police monitor this stuff, do you not? I have a friend who is in jail now for six years. He was caught on his computer, they came to his house and arrested him. You need to be careful. I pray for you daily, and maybe you need to get rid of the computer at least until you overcome this. We can live without them, it is called pen and paper. Mine went down for two weeks and I never missed it. I do not think I would miss any of this, if it all went away tomorrow. God Bless, SR

  2. Indeed, the problem is in your own soul, but it can be remedied with the Grace of Jesus Christ. A very good bishop (of the diocese where I did my theological studies) wrote a good message on pornography. Here is the link and I hope you will read it and learn and make changes based upon this: http://www.arlingtondiocese.org/bishop/about_boughtprice.php
    God will help you if you enter into a truly loving relationship with Him. Throw all of your temptations toward HIm and ask Him for the Grace of real, true Chastity. He will help you. Keep trying. Develop the good habits. He will not fail you. He loves you.

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